Image Description: A small moth floating on the dark surface of black coffee inside a white mug. A metal spoon rests inside the mug, and the cup sits on a wooden table.

I was about to take a sip of my coffee when I noticed a moth sitting on the surface, wings splayed, completely still. I quickly pulled out my phone to capture this moment, letting the moth be.

The moth is delicate, pale, and bright, which contrasts with the deep, black coffee on which it is lying. There is no motion from the spoon, everything is still as the moth rests, afloat due to the surface tension. While this image feels serene, I also get a sense it is melancholy or somber. We typically think about a moth’s attraction to a flame, but here it has been drawn to the darkness, where it is now alone and exposed. Whatever circumstances there may have been, some desire led the moth to land here.

I often feel like that moth. There is a lot of uncertainty that comes with being queer when navigating this world. When I do make myself known, it can feel quite vulnerable, spreading my wings only to be stuck adrift somewhere bitter, yet complex and rich. Pursuing desire or being visible doesn’t always feel like rejection, but to a soul so delicate it can be a lonely journey where one feels misplaced. Yet, in this pursuit, I still find there is beauty in this honesty. And that is worth experiencing and to bear witness.