Contradiction
Image Description: A person seen through a fogged glass surface, their face and upper body illuminated in streaks of yellow, purple, and blue light. The glass is misted and wet, partially obscuring their features.
This photo is titled, Contradictions. One thing I wanted to basically have this photo embody is how you do not have to understand me in order to love me. In this photo, I'm in makeup that contradicts. One side is white and colorful, the other is black and white. It's also a picture of me in the mirror, and it's fogged up, and you can't... The image isn't clear, it's blurry. It's hard to see. You can see my face, but it's hard to see, hard to understand, hard to comprehend. And I do feel like that even though my image is blurry, it does make sense. It's still beautiful and you don't need to understand what it is to understand that it is beautiful. Basically, I feel like this photo embodies this idea that this contradiction, how even though this doesn't make sense to you, it doesn't have to for me to exist and for you to understand. And for you to love me. And that is not an requirement. It's something I like to constantly remind straight cis-allied people. That you do not need to understand my existence to respect it and to love me. And I... Just want to say that there's this contradiction that I talked about in my other photos. And basically all this noise that's saying the way I exist as a queer person is wrong. And pretty much everyone hears that noise and it's annoying. And sometimes I feel crazy for going against it to exist how I want instead of how this noise tells me to. Sometimes because I don't listen to the noise, I feel ugly. But I do feel like if you look at this photo and you look at me and my body, that you can still see the beauty. You can still see the color. You can still see the joy. And that I am beautiful. Even if you don't understand me. I'm still beautiful. I'm still deserving of love. And I feel like the perfect example of that happened when I was doing the photo. My mom... Basically, my lighting thing broke in the middle of me taking this photo. So around 3 a.m., I went into my mom's room with this makeup on. I'm just in a bra. and, like, they are a bit touchy with my gender and how I present, and, like, still misgender me, but I came in there, asked if I could borrow their phone to use the light, because I need the lighting, and stuff, and she said, I was low-key thinking she was going to think I was a serial killer because I was wearing clown makeup. It was like 3 a.m. But she got up, gave me a phone and said, oh, your makeup looks so pretty. And like, she, there's no possible way she could understand why I looked like this. And like, because it was strange, even for me. But despite all that, she still responded with joy and complimented me and said, Oh, you look beautiful. You did so well on your makeup. And I feel like that one small moment is a great example for anyone with queer kids or even queer people in the community. Because they're all people in our community that are fighting each other. And they have to understand that just because they don't understand someone's existence doesn't mean they are less deserving of respect and love. And I do feel like this could be a prime example for all those people.